I got chris browned last night
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
So much Jack, so little girl.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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