I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
