I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
