How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
