Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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