Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
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