the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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