I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
