The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
i think my cat just said my name.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
