its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize