woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Randomize
