Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
