Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
