But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
