Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
