I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
