I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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