yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
