You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
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