dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
