i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
