U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
