pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
