i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I think people are normalizing furries
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
