after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
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