last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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