You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
