I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
