the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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