she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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