who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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