I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
