ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
