I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
