Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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