I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
