I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
