and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
