I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
The Olympian is in my bed
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
