He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
