Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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