bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
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