scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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