just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I woke up under a house in Key West
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
