THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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