She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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