Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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