ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
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