Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
