I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
