Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
