I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
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